Comparative Religion

Here are a few more random pieces of our adventure these last two days, in no particular order of importance.

We visited two different Buddhist temples here in Guangzhou, one yesterday and another today. Everybody was getting ready for a celebration of Buddha's birthday today. So people were bringing/buying offerings for the Buddha.

If you look closely you can see little pieces of paper inside the mouth of these dragons. These are prayers of the people for the Buddha. People also toss coins into the lip of the fountain, hoping that their wishes/prayers will be granted if the coins land and stay.

Incense offerings were EVERYWHERE, food offerings, peanut offerings, you name it.

Here is what you'd expect to see walking into the temple:

Here's what you might NOT expect to see as you walk into the temple and see the various offerings (I've circled it in white for you; the picture quality wasn't the greatest, sorry!):

That's right, folks. Diet Pepsi. To the left is an "orange offering" and to the right is an "apple offering." Smack dab in the middle is soda.

I guess even the oblations are modernized.

And what is young Dang Yong pointing to? No, not the Pepsi. My boy isn't into that sugary nonsense (...yet). No, he's noticed the fruit offering. Apples. He LOVES apples. He promptly threw a fit, wanting one of Buddha's pieces of fruit.

For a minute there, I thought he might pull a Mama and duck under the rope and pull one from the pile and start mawing. But we were able to distract him long enough to get outside the temple and stop by a fruit stand to get him his own.

Here's what it's like in the traditional Buddhist temples. It's as if you've stepped back in time to a simpler age, a life free of the trappings of modern society.

As you can see, here in China it is still "old world." Here the monks still adhere to the simple, monastic lifestyle, free of materialism and the decrepit consumerism that plagues the modern man:

Sigh.

In celebration of Buddha's birthday today, they burned the Shaolin Temple down.

At least it seemed like that's what they were doing, based on the dangerous levels of smoke we were breathing in as we walked through the courtyard. Everyone and their brother bought incense (many the size of bottle rockets).

It made both of us more than a little sad to see the huge mass of people worshipping something that they themselves don't understand and can't explain. Our guide said that the majority of the people shrug their shoulders when she asks them what this all means.

Oh, I forgot to show you.....this is what Jason called the "Christmas Tree of Buddhas" for sale. People (many people) buy their own buddha so they can worship at home and not have to come to the temple.

The Dark Underbelly of Adoption...

I know, Emily and I have already posted twice in the last couple of hours, but as the three of us sat around our hotel room this afternoon, looking for something other than old hat games and books, and Chinese television (wow, it's really cheesy) to distract us, I realized there's something Em and I have never told you all. For that matter, maybe no adoptive people have ever talked about it.... It's embarassing and hard to admit, but we feel we owe you the truth, and it's this.



Lions aren't the only creatures with the propensity to eat their young.



Now, I'll explain...



Emily and I were sitting in Lucy's, a western style restraunt here in Guanzhou, which specifically caters to Americans, as there are about 6000 of us who travel to this city every uear to adopt. It was about an hour ago, which made it 7pm our time, and it was hopping with lots and lots of Americans with their little Chinese "bundles of joy". Well, some were bundles of joy; others were bundles of 150 decibal sirens, blowing out the eardrums of more peoples than a Kiss concert could ever accomplish, and without amps to boot. Lots of crying. Lots of screaming. Lots of parents at their wits end. We all thought we'd come here to China and adopt a little one and them, bam! everything would be fine. Somehow, the kids would all, regardless of mental processing abilities due to age, be rejoicing and thankful, looking forward to their new lives to come.



Ha. Ha. Ha.



We look at things with rose colored glasses sometimes. There are a lot of things we don't think of. We don't realize sometimes that there is trauma, and it doesn't go away after the first night. We don't take into acccount that we're still jet lagged, and as such, are not as "capable" to handle things as we could be otherwise. We don't take into account the week to three weeks before the adoption that we spend in country, every thing we do is a small challenge, either to our language, or our cultural, or our patience skills. These small challenges add up. Struggling to order food from someone who doesn't speak English very well, calling the front desk of the hotel with a simple question that take 5 minutes to communicate, having your child insist on something which you don't understand, only to have a local laugh and say 'he doesn't like the water' and look at you with a mixture of pity and humor....these all add up. Every adopitve parent here just wants to go home; back to a place of comfort and control. We're all strung out.

Here's another secret we'll let you in on.... If we're having such a tough time with so much, then why do we have so many positive posts, you're wondering. I'll tell you: we're manic right now.... Everything is so crazy and overwhelming that any moment of peace or normalcy, and I mean any, is a breath of fresh air and cause to celebrate. "Look, Jesse didn't scream when we washed his hands! Woo Hoo! Let's post a blog and tell evrybody how great this is!!!

Let me tell you what it's like to sleep at night with our new son....very easy. Sounds good, right? Well, sometimes not so much. You see, when we put Jesse down for the evening, it's about 7:30 or so. We turn off nearly all the lights, lie him down, crawl into bed ourselves and 'pretend' to sleep. Well, we last for about 5 minutes, then read for about 5 minutes, then we're out too. So we go to bed around, umm say, 7:45 latest. We're emotionally and mentally drained, so the dropping off part happens quick. Then around 1 am I'm wide awake. I try to sleep and the rest of the evenings is full of wierd dreams, and I mean wierd. I'd tell you about them, but if any officials found out about my very odd subconscious, they'd yank my liscense to adopt, or whatever the heck official parental standing I have. Emily tosses and turns, shivers and sweats the night through. So yeah, we sleep quick, but it doeasn't last. Come morning-time, Jesse is wide awake, and Emily and I are like extras from some Cesar Romero living dead movie.

Please, don't take any of this the wrong way, we are having the time of our lives, but things can be difficult. When we look at all of the other paretns though, two things go through our heads: one, we're glad we're not the only people in this boat, and two; we could have tings a lot worse. Jesse really is adjusting great; he's very happy and curious, and is growing closer to his mommy every day. We are blessed to have such a great son, and we know it, and those are the things we most want to convey to everyone, but sometimes, it's also nice to vent. So thank you all for taking the time to read this, and I know we've said this before, but we really do love and appreciate the support you give to us: it helps us more than we could probably let you know.

All right, I'm going to bed now, probably to dream about crazy Brazilian dolphins dancing to Aerosmith, but don't tell anyone...

Saturday in Guangzhou

So, by now you realize that we have successfully maneauvered from one province in China to another province in China -- with a 4-year-old -- via airplane. J and I were scared to death about how Jesse Yong would be on the flight yesterday. But he loved it! Wanted the window seat so he could see better.

We're still concerned about the LONG LONG LONG plane ride home. Hopefully he'll be OK using an airplane toilet (ack!!!). Plus hopefully he'll sleep for a good chunk of it. I'm hoping we have enough to entertain him. He does like just watching the clouds out the window, so that can eat up some time! ;)

Jesse Yong is responding to his new name. We mix it up for him and he seems OK with it.

He is really starting to like me more and more. Asks me to sit next to him and do things for him. Likes me to play with him. Today we went to the park and I showed him how to play on some of the toys. He LOVED it. And I love getting less of the evil eye and push-aways.

I have to say the adjustment seems to be going more smoothly. We've gone through huge swells of stress and anxiety and bewilderment, but it seems to be evening out a lot more. THANK YOU for the prayers and well wishes. You can't even imagine what a support it has been to us.

We are sooooo ready to be back in America! What a very, very, very long trip. This last leg of the journey is better than we expected, though, and we're enjoying it more than we thought we would, so it will end up being a pleasant end to our adoption journey.

To all of you who have been writing encouraging words via our blog or e-mail: Thank you! It's a lifesaver! We look forward to seeing many of you again soon. It's hard to believe we leave for home in just a few more days....

Finally.....

I know, some of you are thinking: 'Jason and Emily must be almost done with their whole China adventure; I wonder if the Chinese government will actually let them leave with a child...Don't they know those two (at least Jason) barely have the maturity of third graders themselves???', but actually the reason for the title of this post is this:






















The Amercan Northwest meets the Chinese Southeast....



For the last two weeks, I have been dragging my behind, trying to stay awake on a diet of chinese food and mostly green tea...not bad tasting, but for a caffiene-hardened westerner like me, most days I feel like I've been shot with a tranq gun: but not any more!!!



I've only had one 24oz. Venti Americano since arriving at this, our last stop before coming back to America, but the day is still young, and we've got three more daye here, so I've plenty of time to become a short time regular. Speaking of which, my cup no longer runneth over with caffinated goodness, so I'm off for another...


Oh, alright, here are some more pictures of Jesse; if that's all you care about. The three of us are doing great, by the way, and we can't wait to see you all again and share our adventures with you in person.

"FISHIES!!!!"

One of Jesse Yong's favorite things to do is walk the coi fish pond in the back courtyard of our hotel. Yesterday while I was at the orphanage, Jason took many a trip outdoors to trek the pond. Many, many trips. It's rather difficult to keep a 4-year-old occupied and entertained. He keeps pointing to Baba's shoes and leather sack to let us know he wants to GO!

So this morning the three of us took a few walks around the pond together and I snapped some pics for everyone to enjoy. I realize I'm prejudiced, but come on. What a cutie!

He mimics a lot of our English words (or attempts to) but nothing sounds close yet, except "Bye Bye" and "Fishies!!!!" [Although Mama is quite familiar with all the Chinese negatives and has even begun to differentiate the various levels of the Evil Eye.] :)

Some new pics...

Wow! I realize we've neglected to give you any new pictures. So here goes:
It's amazing what bubbles and being carried on Baba's shoulders will do!

Lunch in Nanyang

Yesterday I went to the orphanage in Nanyang (3 hrs one way!), while Jason stayed back with DY. We really weren't sure until the last minute how it was going to work. Would we all make the trip (kinda tough on a kiddo)? or would I go alone? or would we skip it altogether? There was no way Jason would have been able to go alone. DY would have been devastated.
This is the front door to the orphanage:
I spent a long time visiting with each child at the orphanage, rubbing their backs gently, talking quietly to them, smiling, rubbing their little (grubby) hands or stroking their cheeks.... I told them they were beautiful and each one is loved so much! I also prayed for them as I knelt with them. And I prayed for them during the 3 hours to and from the orphanage.

I gave them candy (several pieces throughout the course of my visit). And the caregivers also brought out cookies for them.

I won't say I was heartbroken. That makes it sound like it was surprising or unexpected in some way. I knew what to expect, from all the people who have gone before and shared their stories.

It's just that it.......hurt. A lot.

I think God knew that I needed to see it for myself (maybe it was a good thing I was the one to go, not Jason), so that I could enter into the experience personally. My blogger friend Angel talks a lot about learning what it means to have compassion. To me the word usually brings to mind "pity" or some diluted form of "love." But the word really means "to enter into another's pain."

Seeing the orphanage and the children there gave me greater confirmation that our decision to adopt DY was indeed the most important and most vital thing we've ever done, despite all the daily struggles and tiresome times.

My friend Terry sent me an e-mail before we left for China. She told me, "You can have an easy life or you can have a useful life."

These words comfort and strengthen me during the times when I wonder what in the world we've done.

The children there stole my heart. They are the sweetest, most darling things. Out of respect for the privacy of the children and their families, I won't post pictures here. I will show a few photos of the courtyard they "played" in though.


Unfortunately, though the outside of the orphanage is beautiful, the children never see it.
After visiting the children for about 1.5 hrs, the assistant director and various other people who work at the orphanage (?) invited me to a special lunch. It was served in a restaurant that looked like this little hut. Apparently each party gets their own hut for dinner. Although I'm not sure I really understood the entire proceding. We were in a remote area, so I'm not sure who would come there to eat.The guide told me they brought out all the best food (specialty items that are very rare, etc) and a very expensive wine that they wanted me to drink a lot of.
This was a very yummy dish (actually they all were!). The leafy things are a little bit like cilantro except they are only grown in this region of Nanyang, so it's a specialty. The white pieces are fruit I guess, but they tasted like walnuts. The guide said it was a fruit that they peeled open to get the white thingies.

Each time they presented me a dish, they watched for my expression. I always made appreciative noises and gave a thumbs-up to tell them how tasty it was. This was the only dish I raised an eyebrow at.

This will definitely go down as the most outrageous item I have ever eaten. Yup. You guessed right. Turtle. (Sorry, Seth.)

The assistant director took her chopstick and flipped the turtle shell over to reveal the soft meat underneath.

You'd probably guess it tasted "like chicken" but actually it had the consistency of a button mushroom and kinda tasted a little bit like it - firm but a little chewy, kind of like biting into a peach from a can.

It wasn't bad. In fact, I even went back for seconds.

Doing very well!

I know, I know...We're getting all these e-mails about how you're eagerly checking our blog for updates and there are none. I can almost picture you all shaking your fingers at me....

Well, I'll let you in on a not-so-well-kept secret: it's hard to do things with a 4-year-old around. Especially a precocious, spirited, happy little thing that just wants your attention (or more specifically Jason's attention) the whole entire time.

We're doing well, although the word "overwhelming" doesn't even begin to describe everything we're feeling and experiencing. But it is getting better each day. Dang Yong and I had a GREAT bonding time Tuesday afternoon when Baba was so-called napping (not really, but pretending). The first half hour he was angry and mean to me, but then he started warming up. I gave him plenty of space, but I immediately leaned in if he showed me something or gave me something etc. After that, he was better with me, although he VASTLY prefers Baba which is completely understandable (since he has never seen a man at the orphanage, and since it was women who cared for him and then left him with us. Also, he probably resents me taking the place of caregiver...)

A few words to describe Dang Yong:
SMART
Precocious
Energetic
Talkative
HAPPY
Adjusting well
Willing to please (for the most part)

He LOVES his new light-up shoes we bought at the market yesterday. He's very proud of them, loves to watch them light up when he walks.

Oh and we finally got him to change clothes, which is nice. Still no bath. One step at a time.

One of the first things DY really liked is our jade necklaces. He noticed them right away; noticed they matched and that each of us wore one. So when we went to Zhengzhou Zoo, we bought him an immitation necklace. It has the same red cord and it is the same color, but it's a different shape.

He loves it!!!! Wish you all could have seen the HUMONGOUS grin on his face as we put the new necklace on him. We pointed -- Baba's, Mamma's, Dang Yong's -- and he was thrilled! That night we all snuggled together on the edge of the bed and compared necklaces. All I can say is it is the best $4 we ever spent. He doesn't want anything to happen to it. Starts getting nervous when we change his shirt; wants to make sure the necklace doesn't get lost.

He mimics everything Baba does. After breakfast this morning we walked along the couryard and saw the coi pond. (He loves walking to see the "FISHIES! FISHIES! FISHIES!!!!") On the way back, Jason was holding DY's hand and put his other hand in his jean pocket. Immediately Dang Yong shoved his hand in his jean pocket. Again, I wish I'd had a camera. It brings tears!!!!

OK, I've written a lot so far, so I'm going to start another post entry on my visit to the orphanage yesterday....

P.S. DY is Dang Yong; eventually we'll try adding "Jesse Yong" to the mix.

Day 1 with Dang Yong...

Wow.............

OK, now I've got that out of my system, I'll fill you in on the last 24 hours of our life, while Emily tries to play with Dang Yong: I'll get to that later.

Emily and I were scheduled to meet Yong at around 2:30 pm our time yesterday in our hotel lobby. Three pm came by and we got a call stating that the orphanage director's car had broken down, but they'd be here a little later: maybe around 4:30 or so... Five came and went and we got another call saying that they were running a little more behind, so it would be closer to 7 or 7:30. Emily, Sarah (our guide/translator) and I decided to have some coffe up on the second floor of the hotel, at a little Italian type cafe. We talked and joked and laughed and laughed some more: it was great! Then around 6:30 or so, we got yet another call from the director saying that their car had once again evidently broken down and they had to wait for a bus on the side of the freeway and they'd probably get in around 9pm. Well, that was way too long to sit around in the hotel, so Sarah took us out and we wandered around downtown Zheng Zhou (pronounced Jong Jo) and had some dinner.

Then before we knew it, we were back in the hotel, and it was 9 pm. Two women looking very tired were walking in , holding the hand of one very scared, let me say it again, very scared little boy. He was looking at everything at once and trembling. I feel I need to put this in perspective for you all right now. Dang Yong (pronounced Danyon, emphasis on the 'Dan') spent the last two and a half years in an orphanage, where he rarely, if ever, saw the outside of his very small play area, in a very impovershed part of his province. Before the orphanage, he has no memory, as he was only 18 months. Back to the present: this little boy, who knows nothing of the world, has spent the last 10 hours in a car (something he's never, ever been in) and breaking down twice, then waiting on the freeway (a very busy freeway is also very new to him: all those cars speeding by), and now he's in a giant, beautiful shiny, marbled covered hotel lobby, with lots of lights and a thirty foot high vaulted catherdral ceiling, being introduced to two very big and very different looking people, whom he's been told to call Mama and Baba (mommy and daddy).

It was way too much for him, so we all went up to our room and spent some time playing.

Again, I need to point some things out before I go on. Yong is the most handsome looking boy I'd ever seen. He is as beautiful in person as his pictures showed. He is also very, very smart. The things he's figured out in the last day or so, on his own continue to astound emily and I. He also has no problem talking. Em and I see absolutely no speech delay issues whatsoever. He is a bit shy, but we've noticed it's most prevalent when people are trying too hard to get him to be social or communicative. When it's up to him, he's very gregarious. He spent 1/2 hour in an office this afternoon playing 'high five' with another adoptive parent, just because he felt like it. The parent looked over and smiled at Yong, so Yong just walked over to him: then the high-fives were flying.

FYI, I have about 15 or so stickers on my face as I type this: Dang Yong loves stickers

Yong likes to play with me and we're bonding pretty well right now. He'll take my hand and walk with me and he has plenty of smiles when we play. Emily on the other hand is his new Mama. For the last two and a half years, that title has gone to the orphanage director, and he's very close to her. That being said, though there is a bit of resentment at Emily over being the new Mama, he's playing magnets right now with her and slowly, very slowly, he's growing close to her.

For all of you so inclined, we would greatly appreciate your continued thoughts and prayers. There are some trying times with our new family and we could use all the support we can get. I'm sorry this email isn't longer wittier or more coherent, but I'm functioning on about two hours of sleep, and I'm still not over the jet-lag yet.

Tomorrow we head to the park for some fun and new clothes and shoes for Dang Yong. We'll post again very soon!

Jason (and Emily by proxy)

The Forbidden Picture

Hello from Xi'an, China! I already wrote about the Xi'an Wall and the Wild Goose pagoda that we saw yesterday, but I saved the Terra Cotta Warriors for its own post, because it was the coolest part...

It's Saturday morning (very early in the morning because we are still very jetlagged) and we've finished up our 5 days of "vacation" time in Beijing and Xi'an. It's been truly amazing. We've touched things that are twice as old as America is. We've walked on land and seen artifacts that were in existance before Christ walked in Israel.

Late yesterday afternoon at a Feng Shui (spelling?) museum, we touched a 4ft by 3ft tall stone "Dragon Horse" that was discovered at the bottom of the moat surrounding the ancient portion of Xi'an city wall.

This huge piece of jade is 600 years old and worth a great deal of money, both for the quality and age of the stone and also for its historical significance.

You will notice that I am not posting a picture of this artifact. That is because I did not take a picture of it.

Why?


Because there was a sign that clearly said NO PHOTO. (As I think I mentioned, this was later in the day, after our visit to the terra cotta warriors. As you read along, you'll understand what I'm getting at.)

It is a huge carving and considered very good luck in China. Its huge grinning mouth and huge swollen belly mean prosperity. The bigger the mouth, the better. The bigger the belly, the better. All the Chinese are quick to point to the rear of the statue and point out that it also "has no toilet," meaning the wealth just continues to store itself up, the belly just continues to swell.

Terra Cotta Worriors

Yes, you read that right. That's how all the signs read.

First we had tea in the Terra Cotta Tea Room, which was stunningly decorated. There were about 9 varieties of tea to choose from at our table. Jason and I tried chrysanthemum and a local variety of white tea (only harvested in Shaanxi province).

We bought some kind of black root tea that is supposed to be the best medicinal tea available (also only grown in this province). If you drink this tea for three months it dramatically lowers your blood pressure and chloresterol count.

I think the most amazing thing yesterday was seeing - in person - the terra cotta warriors which date from 210 BC and were discovered in 1974 by several local farmers near Xian, Shaanxi province (which is where we were; as we drove we saw all the farming fields).

Jason and I also saw the man who is responsible for discovering this Eighth Wonder of the World in his field in 1974 while he was digging for oil; he is considered a celebrity and spends his days signing his autograph on the official Terra Cotta Warriors history book they sell there.

I took a picture of him.

I didn't know I wasn't supposed to.


Honestly. I mean, common sense kinda told me I should maybe not climb all over the holey rocks in the Forbidden City. But I really had no idea I wasn't supposed to take his picture (not without paying, that is). I mean, he was just sitting there autographing books. And I couldn't see the sign that said NO PHOTO UNLESS PAY because there were so many people milling about.

Oops.

His little pseudo body guard (you can see his elbow in the lower left of the Forbidden Picture) immediately picked up an empty plastic bag and held it in front of Shaanxi's Indiana Jones to block my line of sight while hollering NO PHOTO!!!!!!!!

I seem to have a penchant for doing things like that over here. I'm starting to worry that I'll do something horribly awful and get tossed in the slammer.


Oh, also: that table is chock full of books, and do you see all those boxes stacked up behind Mr. Indiana Jones? All of the books will sell out by the end of the day. Every last one. I think our guide was worried that we didn't understand what she was saying (we didn't want to buy the book), and she was desperately trying to let us know how valuable it was and how hard it would be to get in a few hours. Actually, it is impossible to get the book anywhere else, even in China. Just knock-off books with inaccurate historical information.

Anyway, the figures include officials, general warriors, archers, chariots and horses. Current estimates are that in the three pits containing the Terracotta Army there were over 8,000 soldiers, 130 chariots with 520 horses and 150 cavalry horses, the majority still buried in the pits.

To be honest, we thought it would feel like a museum -- very closed off and stuffy. But it really is three huge pits in the earth (with a modern structure built around it to protect them).

You literally are standing there looking down at 2000 years of history. It sounds cliche and corny and touristy, but it really is quite the feeling to be standing there. You can even bend down and touch the clay walls. Wow. Very humbling. (not sure if maybe that was illegal, too...)

Did I already say that it's really history unfolding? In fact, each day archaeologists take a few soldiers or horses from the center of the pit and bring them up to work on them.

These are the ones out for re-assembly this week.

The Greatest Warrior

Here's a picture of the only perfectly intact, surviving terra cotta warrior. Out of 8,000 members of the army that have been found, he is called "The Greatest Warrior" and is stored separately behind glass.

Maybe some day archaeologists will be able to safely uncover all the warriors still buried in Pit 2. Those warriors will have all their original colors, which faded off all the warriors you see here within minutes of being exposed to oxygen. It must have been horrifying to be the excavators who literally watched the colors vanish before their eyes...

The food in China is good and pretty straightforward (for the most part, although there was that initial incident in Shabu Shabu that had us a little scared about what we might be in for....)

The weather is good. Muggy and smoggy though. Sometimes we wake up with a scratchy throat. Other than jetlag combined with nervous excitment, we're doing very well.

Unfortunately we've only averaged about 4 or 5 hrs of sleep each night. Ugh. But last night we got almost 8, so I think we're turning the corner. We are leaving this afternoon by train to go to Zhengzhou, Henan province where we will meet Jesse Yong Sunday afternoon at 3 p.m. We are a little overwhelmed by this prospect and hope we can get some sleep tonight....