Monday, April 21, 2008

Watching the minute hand...

The waiting really is the hardest part. One of my church friends was saying yesterday how awful it is to have to anticipate. It’s ridiculously annoying.

And we have 6 more days of it to go.

There’s nothing productive that you can do about any of the unknowns. Stewing and worrying about what might (or might not) be won’t make anything any easier. Trying to anticipate it just makes my head spin.

On the other hand, when you’re feeling incredibly excited and completely energized, you have to contain yourself because you remember you still have 6 days to go and people look at you funny when you giggle and dance about and forget to answer their questions in a straightforward manner. It’s a no-win.

Jason and I were chatting this morning as we drove in to work together, and I kept randomly coming up with a myriad of small worries. One after another, all sorts of tiny negatives kept popping into my head. Mind you, not one of these things was a serious problem or potential disaster; just a string of my telltale, random quirkynesses.

Finally he said, "Emily, do you think that maybe – just maybe – your low-level anxiety is kicking into gear, heading out onto the open road, obsessively scanning the horizon for any and all appearance of a storm cloud?"

I said, "Yeah, I think even my anxiety is starting to get stressed out."

Jason’s right: it’s high time to pull that anxiety scout into the garage for a while and take JOY and EXCITEMENT and ENERGY out for a spin…

3 comments:

Karin said...

Oh wow...I can't believe it's only 6 days!!! How exciting!!! Treasure every moment--even the anxious ones--it's all part of the experience! I can't wait to 'go to China' with you as you get Jesse.

Angel said...

OH GOOD!!! I am so glad it's not just me. I feel immobile. It's so weird. I sure wish I could get on that plane with you in 3 DAYS!!! WOOHOO! :0) Angel

michele nicholson said...

Are you there yet??? I think you guys are supposed to be there now... that's what my calandar says! I'm soooo excited for you!!!Can't wait hear about it... I've got butterflies!
Love,
Michele