“Once our eyes are opened we can’t pretend we don’t know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows that we know, and holds us responsible to act.”
When you step forward to do something – something that God has made clear is His desire for you – there is great joy indeed! Gone are the musings and wonderings. You know what you are supposed to do!
But undoubtedly there also come times of testing, fear and doubt. I haven’t been a stranger to overwhelmedness (it’s my blog, I’ll make up words if I need to). Times of worry about all the things that could go wrong with this adoption, worry about the conditions of the orphanage my little boy waits in and the immense adjustment we will go through as we take him into our hearts and home.
But God has worked in my heart so that I can become so much better at giving those fears over to him and grab hold of the peace and promises He has given. I remind myself of that saying, “The will of God will never take you to where His grace will not keep you.”
Lately there have been disappointments and discouragements. China is suffering a national disaster with unending (20 days and counting) blizzards, ice and rain. Coal cannot be delivered, nor food. Trains and buses are shut down. Immigrant workers hoping to head home for the Chinese New Year holiday are stranded. (Chinese New Year is the one and only holiday they have, and for some it is their only opportunity to see their family members all year.) Orphanages around the country are out of heat, out of food, and out of diapers. It’s a crisis the likes of which we haven’t seen in America, except for maybe Hurricane Katrina.
On a petulant note, Jason and I have NOT received our LOA (letter of acceptance) to adopt Dang Yong, which we expected to receive two weeks ago. Considering what’s going on in China, it’s such a tiny, insignificant thing it’s disgustingly egocentric to mention it.
But timing is key. If we don’t get our letter soon, our travel permission is delayed. The Chinese New Year means offices are closed and no paper gets pushed. If no paper gets pushed, our travel gets pushed into April, we risk conflicting with the Guangzhou Trade Show, which means ticket prices, hotel costs, and tourism prices are tripled. No can do.
So lately our mood has been a bit glum, which makes what happened next so very awesome...